God's Will

I've always had a problem with those new age youth groups where everyone seems so happy, holy and full of passion. How can one be human and be so one dimensional? Where is the questions, the doubt and the conflicts that makes one's belief have depth and one's soul have grace?


I've since given this much thought and I've come to see many of the issues that have bothered me. The one that stands out is my firm belief that contractions lie at the heart of all things. What is white without black? What is rich without poor? And how can one understand or be good without the presence and the understanding of evil?


Therefore it is for this reason that I perceive the joyfulness, virtuous, onemindedness of those electric guitar playing, heads rolling, hands waving 'new age' youth Christians as repulsive, sanctimonious and shallow. I feel they use religion as a drug - they are addicted to feeling holy, they are addicted to painting the world in black and white and seeing people as either the chosen or the damned.


Give me instead the flawed vessels humble in their sin. Give me the tears and grasping of people seeking salvation in their own personal, desperate ways. The world and its people are grey and although God made us in His image, he coccooned His essence in a mortal mind and body. Therefore we have the vital spark but it shines out of a shuttered globe into the thick fog of this world, an infant world lost with only a memory of the sun.


I am a child of sin seeking to understand his Father, seeking to do His Plan with my mortal hands.